Funny Beer quotes for National Beer Day

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          Beer, I think no men in this world will hate it, Drinking beer with friends is fun, make it more memorable with the following funny beer quotes which can make you more happy which is equal to drinking a beer.

National Beer Day Messages


  • Who does not love beer, wine, women, and song remains a fool his whole life. - Carl Worner
  • Getting stoned just makes you want to eat and get fat. At least drinking too much makes you vomit which makes you thin.  Earl J. Hickey
  • Similar to ONE BEER, TWO BEER, THREE BEER, FLOOR
  • Men can go wrong with wine and women. Shall we then prohibit and abolish women?
  •  Wow, it’s like I have died and went to heaven.  But then they realized it was not my time yet.  So they sent me to a brewery. – Peter of Family Guy
  • Whiskey and Beer are a man’s worst enemies…but the man that runs away from his enemies is a coward! - Zeca Palomino (Brazilian song writer)
  • Buy a man a beer, and he wastes an hour.  Teach a man to brew, and he wastes a lifetime. - Charles Papazian
  • One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough. – James Thurber
  • I fear the man who drinks water and so remembers this morning what the rest of us said last night –Benjamin Franklin
  • There’s nothing like Good food, Good beer, and a bad girl. - Harvey Allen
  • The human intellect owes its superiority over that of the lower animals in great measure to the stimulus which alcohol has given imagination.-Samuel Butler
  • You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are. - Adolphus Busch
  • In my opinion, most of the great men of the past were only there for the beer—the wealth, prestige and grandeur that went with the power. - A.J.P. Taylor, British historian, 1984
  • And smoking weed kills your brain cells, not like getting drunk which only hurts the liver, and you got two of them.  Earl J. Hickey
  • Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into. - Don Marquis
  • If you resolve to give up smoking and drinking, you don’t actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud.
  • A little bit of beer is divine medicine. –Paracelsus, Greek physician
  • Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy - Benjamin Franklin
  • The church is near, but the road is icy.  The bar is far, but we will walk carefully - Russian Proverb.
  • Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire - David Wallace
  • The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. - George Bernard Shaw
  • Beer may not solve your problems, but neither will water or milk - Wiley
  •  On some days, my head is filled with such wild and original thoughts that I can barely utter a word.  On other days, the brewery is close. - Frank Varano
  • And God said, ‘Let there be beer!’  And He saw that is was good.  Then God said, ‘Let there be light!’  And then He said, ‘Whoa-too much light’. - Frank Varano
  • Women and drink.  Too much of either can drive you to the other - Michael Still
  • Milk is for babies.  When you grow up you have to drink beer. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
  • Don’t bother trying to join the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms.  It turns out they are apparently against all three. - Wiley
  • A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it’s better to be thoroughly sure.
  •  Beer is a wholesome liquor…..it abounds with nourishment –Dr. Benjamin Rush There is no strong beer, just weak men - Dan Castellaneta.
  • An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with fools. - Ernest Hemingway
  • When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink. –Francois Rabelais
  • When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year.  I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer. – Dave Berry
  • Beer he drank - seven goblets. His spirit was loosened. He became hilarious. His heart was glad and his face shown. - From the Epic of Gilgamesh, 3000 B.C.
  • You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning. On label of Founders Breakfast Stout
  • Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire -David Rains Wallace
  • I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. –Joe E. Lewis
  • The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober. - Yeats
  • History flows forward on rivers of beer. Anonymous.
  • I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill
  • The easiest way to spot a wanker in a pub is to look around and find who’s drinking a Corona with a slice of lemon in the neck. – Warwick Frank
  • Drink triple, see double, and act single – Anonymous
  •   The sum of the matter is, the people drink because the wish to drink.  -Rudolph Brand
  • Bart, a woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you’d step over your own mother just to get one. - Homer Simpson
  • Oh, you hate your job? Why did not you say so? There’s a support group for that. Its called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. - Unknown
  • On victory, you deserve beer, in defeat, you need it.-Napoleon
  • People who drink light beer don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
  • Give my people plenty of beer, Good beer and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them - Queen Victoria
  • Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire -David Rains Wallace
  • It’s better to drink beer and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit….Steve Taylor
  • You can never buy beer; you just rent it -Archie Bunker
  • Beer is a wholesome liquor…..it abounds with nourishment –Dr. Benjamin Rush
  • Here’s to alcohol, the cause of-and solution to-all life’s problems. – Homer Simpson
  • Smithers, this beer is not working.  I don’t feel any younger or funkier. - Mr. Burns of Simpsons
  • I fear the man who drinks water and so remembers this morning what the rest of us said last night –Benjamin Franklin
  • I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be  epended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.   — Abraham Lincoln
  • Beer will change the world.  I don’t know how, but it will - sign on streets of New York
  • We could not now take time for further searched or consideration: our victuals being much spente, especially our beer. - Logbook entry on the Mayflower, December 16, 16to0
  • Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - W. C. Fields
  • I am going to buy boats… do a little travelling, and I am going to be drinking lots of beer! - John Welsh, a bus driver who won $30 million in New York Lottery.
  • Reality is an illusion caused by a lack of Good beer.
  • Beer…. high and mighty liquor. - Julius Caesar
  • I think this would be a Good time for a beer. (Upon signing the New Deal, paving the way for the repeal of Prohibition) - Franklin D. Roosevelt
  • Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I did not drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true, than be selfish and worry about my liver. - By Jack Handy
  • When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.  -Dave Barry
  • The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.  Richard Braunstein
  • I told the stewardess liquor for three. -  Who are the other two? -  Oh, there are no other two.  Sean Connery (as James Bond)
  • Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. – Ernest Hemingway
  • Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world - Kaiser Wilhelm
  • In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. -Benjamin Franklin
  • There can’t be good living where there is not Good drinking.-Benjamin Franklin
  • The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. -Humphrey Bogart
  • Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say, I am thirsty, not dirty. Joe Lewis
  • Let no man thirst for Good beer. – Sam Adams
  • It was a natural as eating and to me as necessary, and I would not have thought of eating a meal without drinking beer- Ernest Hemingway
  • Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.-Lady Astor to Winston Churchill         Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it -Churchill’s reply
  • The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle. They’re on TV. Homer Simpson---
  • Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the tempter, cheers the spirit, and promotes Good health. – Thomas Jefferson
  •  There is more to life than beer alone, but beer makes those other things even better. -Stephen Morris
  •  If a life of wine, women and song becomes too much, give up singing.-Mark Schiess
  • The problem with some people is that when they are not drunk, they’re sober.-William Butler Yeats.
  • What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? W.C. Fields
  • Do not allow children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth. Steve Allen
  • Beer…. high and mighty liquor. - Julius Caesar
  • Life’s too short to drink cheap beer -Anonymous
  • Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer.-Frederick the Great
  •  If a life of wine, women and song becomes too much, give up singing.-Mark Schiess
  • I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as Good as they’re going to feel all day. - Frank Sinatra
  •  Twenty-four hours in a day, twenty-four beers in a case. Coincidence? - Stephen Wright
  • I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.  -- Brendan Behan
  • When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink. –Francois Rabelais
  • Work is the curse of the drinking class – Oscar Wilde
  • I drink to make other people interesting. – George Jean Nathan
  • Beer will get you through time of no money better than money will get you through times of no beer. - Freddie Freak
  • Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. –Dave Barry
  • One more drink and Id have been under the host. - Dorothy Parker
  • I am sorry honey, I cant hear you without a beer in my hand - Over one million husbands.
  • Id rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. - Tom Waits
  •    Beer does not make itself properly by itself. It takes an element of mystery and of things that no one can understand.  –Fritz Maytag
  •    Let us drink for the replenishment of our strength, not for our sorrow -Cicero
  • I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion   -Miguel De Cervantes
  • I am not so think as you drunk I am! - John Squire
  • "Beer has food value, but food has no beer value.
  • The problem with the designated driver program, its not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.  - Jeff Foxworthy"
  • You’re not drunk unless you can lie on the floor without holding on! - Dean Martin
  •  No, sir: There is nothing which has yet been contrived by man by which so much happiness is produced as by a Good tavern or inn. –Samuel Johnson
  • We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink -Epicurus
  • If love makes the world go around, then whisky makes it go around twice as fast! - Compton Mackenzie
  • Just to be clear - What I said was. Beer is God, Music is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy and Springsteen is a profit. – Mark Schiess
  • Beer makes you feel as you ought to feel without beer. Henry Lawson, Poet and writer.
  •  Give my people plenty of beer, Good beer and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution –Queen Victoria
  • A psychologist once said that we know little about the conscience - except that it is soluble in alcohol. - Thomas Blackburn
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
  •   The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer –Ancient Egyptian Wisdom
  • Lets get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini... - Mae West
  • When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading !!! - Henny Youngman
  • A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her. - W.C. Fields
  • When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven! - Brian O’Rourke
  • Beer is a wholesome liquor…it abounds with nourishment –Dr. Benjamin Rush
  •  Beer, if drunk with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit and promotes health –Thomas Jefferson
  • You cant be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but the very least you need a beer. -  Frank Zappa
  • It’s not about drinking 6 or 7 or 8 beers- it’s about enjoying the one you have in your hand. Jeff Murdock, bon vivant and local philosopher - interviewed at the BRBP summer to005
  • After drinking four Martinis, my husband turns into a disgusting beast. And after the fifth, I pass out altogether. - Anonymous
  • Sir, you’re drunk! Yes, Madam, I am. But in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly.  –Lady Astor and Winston Churchill
  • I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning that as Good as they’re going to feel all day.
  • An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools
  • Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
  • Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life’s problems.
  • Homer no function beer well without.
  • Beer... Now there’s a temporary solution.
  • Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That’s for Daddies, and kids with fake IDs.
  • Love figured out an alternative to giving up my beer. Basically, we become a family of travelling acrobats.