Best Santa Banta jokes to rofl

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Laugh out of loud with the following best funny santa banta jokes, best sharable stuff ever.

santa banta jokes


  • The rain makes al things beautiful. The grass and flowers to then y does not it rain on you!!?!!
  • I have been arrested for being the ugliest person, can you come down and show them its a mistake!
  • Q: why did santa bury his drivers license? A: because it had expired.
  • Q: how did santa try to kill the bird ?a: he threw it off a cliff.
  • Q: how does santa kill a fish? A: he drowns it.
  • Santa: I will make you the happiest woman on earth, jeeto: I will really miss you.
  • Santa could not understand why his sister had two brothers and he only had one.
  • Santa to a girl: I want to marry you, girl: I am a year elder to you santa: I will marry you next year.
  • Why did santa took his pregnant wife to pizza hut? Because they advertised free delivery.
  • Q: how did santa cheat the railways? A: he bought the ticket and didnt travel.
  • Q: why did santa throw the butter out the window? A: he wanted to see a butterfly.
  • American: in us marriage happens with email santa: in India it is only wt female.
  • Santa: can you do anything others cant? Banta: sure, I can read my handwriting.
  • Santa: jeeto, drinking makes you beautiful. Jeeto: I don't drink.santa: I do.
  • Salesman:this computer cuts your workload by 50% santa: then ill take to of them.
  • Santa spent two minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said concentrate.
  • Banta: why is police named the heart of the country santa: it beats, beats, beats...
  • Q: why did santa go to Rome ? A: he wanted to listen to pope music.
  • Santas inventions one waterproof towel to solar powered torch three book on how to read.
  • Q: why was santa writing the exam near the door? A: because it was an entrance exam.
  • Santa in an antique shop,  do you have anything new?
  • Santa falls in love with a nurse. He writes a love letter to her  I love you sister.
  • Lady secretary: sir, your wife called wants to kiss on phone santa: take message give me later.
  • An atms jammed when operated by santa. Because he put a pin when asked enter your pin.
  • Santa writing passive voice of I made a mistake he wrote I was made by a mistake.
  • Santa: I tried your number many times it said switched off, banta: its my hello tune.
  • How do you call your mums younger sis and elder sis? Santa: minimum and maximum.
  • What is an adult joke? Santa: any joke which is eighteen years old.
  • Santa declares I will never marry and my life and I will give same advice to my children also.
  • My life was and darkness before I met you, but now it is bright. You  know why? Cause you are a tube light.
  • Q: how do you sink a submarine full of blondes? A: knock on the door.
  • Days are to busy hours are to fast seconds are to few, but there is always time for me to disturb you.
  • Sugar is sugar, salt is salt, god made you dumbo, not my fault!
  • Marriage: process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
  • Are mosquitoes religious? Yes, they first sing over you and then prey on you.
  • What makes a book a best seller? A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
  • I wanted to kill the most handsome man on earth but then I found that suicide is a crime.
  • Mosquito to mother: can I go to theatre? M: yes, but pay attention during applause.
  • Your brain is a masterpiece in left half nothing is right, in right half nothing is left.
  • I think I should tell you what people are saying behind your back. Nice ass!!
  • Generation next motto:  don’t you marry and don’t let your children to marry :p
  • Gandhiji and mallika both of them have maintained less clothes, one is for country, another is for country boys :p.
  • Height of flirting? When your love letter starts with to whomsoever it may concern.
  • Reverse dynamics: a rich man becomes naughty, and a naughty woman becomes rich.
  • Height of kanjoosi: banias house in fire, he is giving miss calls to fire brigade.
  • If anyone praises you for your attitude kick them. How dare they fool you before april 1st.
  • Most proficient form of footwork by Indian batsmen? Walking back to pavilion.
  • Q: where do Indian batsmen perform their best? A: in advertisements.
  • Can you do me a favour, send a picture of yours, I am playing cards and I am missing the joker.
  • What he want I don't want. What I want he does not want. What we want is not allowed.
  • If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.
  • I am a virus, I am entering your brain now...sorry ill leave, I cant find a brain.
  • A man pays $to for $1 item he needs, a woman pays $1 for $to item she does not need.
  • The heart and the brain are neighbours, but they will never be friends.
  • People who do not want to be disturbed, usually already are disturbed.
  • Women know that they are not that pretty any more when they have nothing to wear.
  • Boys say its great, boys say its fine. 9 months later they say its not mine !
  • Friendship is not about whom you have known the longest its all about who came and never left.
  • Sugar dissolves in water, please don't go outside in rain. Because you are the sweetest!
  • 3 advantages of not having a  girl friend  1.save time 2.can sleep well 3.no bother about missed calls.
  • Loving Pakistan, romance in Afghanistan, marriage in Rajasthan, no children in Hindustan.
  • Think big, think positive...I know its to much for you a short cut... Just think about me!
  • I am sure you are born as a cute baby, now that you are grown up I Have one question what happened??
  • Difference between your and my smile? You smile when you are happy and I smile when you are happy.
  • Destiny decides who you meet in life but your heart decides who gets to stay in your life.
  • Great calculation: only to0% boys have brains. Rest have girlfriends.
  • College mean... C-come o-on l-lets l-love e-each g-girl e-equally.
  • When ppl say you are mad, be cool. They mean to say that you m=make a=a d=difference.
  • 7meetings=1kiss 7kisses=1proposal 7proposals=1 marriage and marriage has 777 problems.
  • Husband means handsome useful smart at night dangerous.
  • Difference between pleasure and torture pleasure thinking of you and torture thinking of you to much.
  • An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
  • I would have answered your letter sooner but you did not write me one.
  • Do you have a coin? I want to call your parents and thank them.
  • Do you know you look great with to pounds less? I mean your clothes weigh exactly to pounds.
  • Do you believe in helping the homeless? If yes take me home with you.
  • Quote from boss: teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.
  • More careful you plan a project more confusion there is when something goes wrong.
  • Loyal really means: can not get a job anywhere else.
  • Good communication skills really mean: spends lot of time on phone.
  • I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
  • When you are out of office you are wandering, when your boss is out of office hearts on business
  • Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.
  • Before falling in love: you take my breath away. After: I am suffocating.
  • These days if you want to relax you really have to work for it.
  • Kiss defined by a physicist: contraction of mouth due to expansion of the heart.
  • To err is human. To admit is a blunder.
  • He who smiles in a crisis has someone to blame.
  • Good judgement comes from experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.
  • The faster way to discover all your bad habits is to move in with your lover.
  • The best way to change a woman’s mind is to agree with her.
  • It took a lot of willpower, but finally I have given up trying to give up smoking
  • I am going to start thinking positive, but I know it does not work.