Funny messages and quotes which make you laugh

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  • You think of me, I think of you, then what it means. It means both we have no job.
  • American, dogs can find bombs in my country. Japanese, fish can play ball in my country. Pakistan, that is not a matter, monkey can read sms in my country
  • Thinking is like, you are standing on the middle of the road and suddenly a crow beats on your head, but you remain calm, and thanks to god. That cows don't fly.
  • Hey friend remember that, without stupidity there can be no wisdom and without ugliness there can be no beauty so the world needs you after all. .
  • Love is possible after friendship, but friendship is not possible after love because medicines work before death later nothing can be cured.
  • Where are you, are you busy, how much busy, little or more, if little, y don't you call me, if more busy, then who asked you to read this, don't smile, call me immediately
  • How to become a genius. Some text missing, find the missing text and surely you will become a genius.
  • If you feel little bored, little sick, little sad, all lost. You know what is wrong you are suffering from lack of vitamin me.
  • I found Aladdin’s lamp. I asked him to increase my all friends brain 10 times more. He laughed and replied, multiplication does not apply on zero.
  • What happened to your mobile. I was trying to call you but I got this message, welcome to the jungle network, the monkey you are trying to call is on tree please try later
  • Misuse of English diagram in book was not clear, so madam drew diagram on blackboard and announced, don't look at books figure, look at my figure
  • I am looking for a bank which can perform two things for me, giving me a loan, and then leaving me alone.
  • Why do girls live longer than boys. shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does.
  • Ladies hostel caught fire in, It took one hour to bring the fire under control and another 3 hrs to bring the firemen under control.
  • When you feel lonely and alone and cannot see any one around you, d world seems to be fading away, come along with me I will take you to an eye specialist
  • You are a nice person but, you have to do to things early in the morning. 1st, pray to god so that you can live. Take a bath so that others can live.
  • Two devils came in to my dreams. they said, we want to disturb some good person. I suggest them your name. They said, we cannot disturb our boss. . .
  • Do you want to hear a dirty joke, are you sure, ok here you go. a white horse fell in the mud.
  • Importance of thumb. Children use it for chewing, illiterate people use it for sign, winners for victory and my fans use it for reading my messages oh you too.
  • Difference between friend and wife you can tell your friend you are my best friend, but do you have courage tell to your wife you are my best wife.
  • Smile to old means respect, smile to child mean innocence, smile to friend means care, smile in front of mobile a mental case. Still smiling.
  • Fact about women, they can see a hair of a girl on their husbands coat from too meters, but cannot see a pillar from to meters while parking a car
  • Last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky. then I thought where the hell is my roof.
  • Girl friends are like mobile phone, whenever you want happiness just check inbox, n whenever you want to enjoyment just plug in your charger and enjoy
  • I want you to know that our friendship means a lot to me. You cry I cry. You laugh I laugh. You jump out of the window. I look down and then. I laugh again.
  • Could you fax me your photo very urgently? Mind you it is really very urgent, damn serious and very important. I am playing cards and we mispecialized the joker.
  • God made man and then rested.  God made women and then no one rested.
  • Terrorists had kidnapped our lecturers and demanded for 500000 rupees, are else they will burn them with kerosene. Please donate. I have donated 15 liters.
  • I have lots of jokes in my inbox, but I can’t send you all of them, it will take a lot of time, so iam sending you just one joke you are so beautiful.
  • When I was in school someone stole my rough notes and they named it as. oxford English dictionary
  • A rabbit runs, jumps and lives only for 15 yrs. a turtle doesn’t run, do nothing, yet lives for 150 years. moral exercise is hell, just sleep well.
  • A baby monkey asks his father. Father why we are so ugly, the father says to him, don't stress my son you should see the one who is reading this.
  • Slogan written on a bald mans t shirt. God made some perfect heads. On the rest he put hair to hide his mistakes. .
  • Difference, it is funny when people discuss love marriage vs. arranged. It is like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
  • Two ladies fighting for a seat in a bus. Bus conductor, the older one should sit here, both looked at each other, and the seat remained empty.
  • Boy to girl before exam, hey all the best. Girl, all the best to you too, but girl scored 80 marks and boy failed. Moral, only boys wish with true heart.
  • The awkward moment when your friend is arguing wd their parents and their parents turns towards you and asks do you ever talk to your parents like this
  • Wise advices, never laugh at your wife’s choices, you are one of them. Never be proud of your choices. Your wife is one of them.
  • Life is so unpredictable, one moment you think all your dreams are coming true and the very next second you find that you were actually dreaming.
  • I have saved my girl friends number as battery low so, whenever she calls and I am not around, my mom plugs my phone to charger unknowingly.
  • To be a good professional, always start to study late for exams. Because it teaches how to manage time and tackle emergencies. . .
  • The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, so why should I be learning
  • According to a research 87%of young people have back pain.  .  The other 13%have no computer.
  • If I need brain transplantation I will prefer your brain. Do not think that you are a genius. I need a brain which is never use before.
  • What is a difference between a kiss, a car and a monkey a kiss is so dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is you dear.
  • MBBS final exam question fill in the blanks. If a lady faints, we must first check her pu-s- only few intelligent students wrote pulse.
  • From Monday to Sunday, from January to December, from birth till my death, my feelings for you have never changed. For me,  you have always been. A headache
  • Hello, this is god. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realized. My apologies on behalf of the whole world
  • Lovers are outgoing calls, aunties are toll free calls, call girls are roaming calls and neighbor girls are missed calls.
  • Teacher killed a person convert this sentence into future tense.  Student the future tense is you will go to jail