Best Funny Messages and Quotes

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  • Friendship on facebook is like kolaveri di . No need to understand, just enjoy it
  • Married life is so easy.  It’s just like a walk in the park.  But the problem is That the park is Jurassic!
  • To theories to argue with wife: 1.  If she is ri8 then be fair to her and keep quiet.  To.  If she is wrong then be kind to yourself and keep quiet!
  • Most women usually have only to problems: 1. Nothing to wear.  To.  No place to put all the clothes.
  • Crack: what do you call a calf after its six months old? Jack: seven months old.
  • Modern breakup: a boyfriend threw 6 cricket balls at his girlfriend.  Girlfriend: what is that for? Boy: it’s over.
  • Facebook should have limit on how many times you can change your relationship status.  After 3, It should default to unstable
  • There is so much drama on facebook,  I am surprised that they don't have an awards show
  • When I die, I want someone to keep updating my facebook status to freak people out.
  • Boy proposing to girl: the day il go on my knees for another girl is day il tie shoe lace for our daughter.
  • If ever in life you love to people at same time, go for toned person.  If you really ever loved first person, u would never fall in love again.
  • Boy: can you just listen to me? Girl: what? Boy: I like you and I think there is something missing in my hart.  Girl: I think it’s an e.
  • Girl: you are like a drug to me.  Boy: why, because you’re hooked to me? Girl: no, because you are ruining my life.
  • Girl: what do you usually do when I am gone? Boy: wait for you to come back.
  • Boy: yr teeth are like stars.  Girl: awww. thanks.  Are dey that pretty? Boy: no, they are far apart from each other.
  • Krak: what is the difference between liability and asset? Jack: a drunk guy is a liability and a drunk girl is an asset!
  • Rock: we are all in the same game just different levels.  Dealing with the same hell,  just different devils.
  • What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? It’s time to go to sweep.
  • Sweet love: boy: can I hold your hand? Girl: no.  Boy: why not? Girl: because it hurts when you leave it.
  • I want to share everything with you.  Your joys, your sadness, your happy moments, every single second of day.  Let us start with your atm password 1st
  • Teacher: which was the first silent film in Urdu? Pappu: if the film was silent, how could you know it was in urdu!
  • Do you know y women love to send sms? Because it forces men to read stuff they would never listen to in person
  • Most touching lines said by true lover to his love while break up: of all lies you told me, I love you was my favorite
  • Wives are magicians, they can change anything into an argument!
  • Dear math, I m sick and tired of finding your x.  Just accept fact tat she is gone.  Move on,  dude!
  • Women’s tongues and men’s eyes rest only when they die!
  • Can a woman make you a millionaire? Yes! Only if you are a billionaire.
  • We all make mistakes in our life.  But wife and boss only has art of finding it, remembering it and reminding it
  • If couples who are in love are called love birds, then couples who always argue,  should be called angry birds
  • Will be ready in 5 minutes of a woman and will call you back in 5 minutes of a man are the same
  • Don't mix between my personality and my attitude because my personality is me and my attitude depends on you.
  • Lazy fact #to54946156.  You were too lazy to read that number.
  • Quote on a husband t-shirt: all girls are devils; but my wife is the queen of all of them
  • Global recession and financial crisis have become so critical and serious now a day’s tat majority of the men have started loving their own wives
  • What is love? In math,  it’s a problem.  In history, its a battle.  In science,  it’s a reaction.  In art,  it’s a heart.
  • Painting: the art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic!
  • My wife says I never take her anywhere expensive.  So I took her to the gas station.
  • I love my six pack so much that I protect it with a layer of fat.
  • Warning to all wives: if you don't treat your husband well, someone else will!
  • Trust is the most important part of a relationship. You must be 100% sure that she won’t tell your wife
  • As Steve jobs is now in heaven,  the apsaras are now called items!
  • Next year, the kingfisher calendar will be even better since they don't have money to buy even bikinis for models.
  • Can a woman make you a millionaire? yes! Only if you are a billionaire.
  • Why do girls look beautiful? Is it real or due to make-up? all false,  girls look beautiful because boys have good imagination.
  • An intelligent wife is one who makes sure she spends so much that her husband cant afford another woman.
  • Pizza always confuses me: square box, round pizza, triangle slices
  • Okay.  Okay.  Okay.  All right.  Okay.  Okay,  bye.  Okay.  Bye.  Okay.  Okay. . crack on the phone with wife
  • Height of hygiene: a computer student washing his hands with dettol after removing a virus from his system.
  • Routine of holidays: sleep till you are hungry; eat till you are sleepy.
  • We all make mistakes in our life. But wife and boss only has art of finding it, remembering it and reminding it.
  • I signed up for a well known diet plan.  So far, all I have lost 1000 bucks.
  • If couples who are in love are called love birds; then couples who always argue,  should be called angry birds
  • Will be ready in 5 minutes of a woman and will call you back in 5 minutes of a man are the same.
  • A dentist and a manicurist married.  They fought tooth and nail.
  • Don't mix between my personality and my attitude because my personality is me and my attitude depends on you.
  • Quote on a husbands t-shirt: all girls are devils; but my wife is the queen of all of them.
  • Whatever you do, always give 100%.  Unless you are donating blood.
  • Who is a psychiatrist? a qualified person who gives you an expensive and critical analysis about yourself,  which your spouse gives you for free,  daily
  • Global recession and financial crisis have be com so critical and serious now a days that majority of men have started loving their own wives
  • Boy: I l you, girl: can you please spell it out just makes it more special, boy:i am leaving you